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From the Pit

  By Bonnie Mutchler

  Copyright 2010 by Bonnie Mutchler

  Cover design copyright Joleene Naylor 2009. All rights reserved.

  Cover Fonts by Larabie Fonts (https://www.larabiefonts.com/ )

  Other poetry collections by Bonnie Mutchler:

  Inside the Worm

  The Egg of Orlin

  From The Mist

  ********************

  A Love Story

  (My apologies, this isn't really a poem, it's just a damn good love story)

  "I love you madly, yes, madly, Zigfreid! Do you hear? I don't care if the whole world knows. I could shout it from the windows down to the street below." Hand to brow, she crossed the room and flung open the casement window, "World---I love this man madly.

  He is my reason for living and breathing!" She leaned further out the window. The bells in the church began to toll down the street. "Hear sweet heaven proclaim our love!"

  Suddenly her foot slipped and she plunged head first over the sill and hurtled to the pavement below, splatting on the sidewalk.

  "Damn!" said Zigfreid, "Another mess to clean up!"

  **********

  A Toast

  When the wars of men become hopeless,

  Some just surrender.

  But some go down fighting

  With blood on their hands.

  And they silently lay in their graves

  In the quiet of twilight,

  Remembering their deeds

  Long after their deaths.

  The debt that is owed can never be paid

  To the heroes from yesterday.

  A toast to the men who are brave;

  To the ones who lie buried below.

  **********

  Africa's Screaming

  Hear the last drum as it rings

  Across the Serengeti

  Where the dusty earth is frying,

  The parched, yellow grass is crying

  And the elephants are dying.

  Listen - while the world lies dreaming,

  She's alone - Africa's screaming.

  See dark faces at the fire,

  Creased and worn with faded eyes.

  Ever struggling for her power,

  Ancient dreams have all turned sour,

  Raped and pillaged and devoured.

  Listen - 'neath the hot moon, beaming,

  She's alone - Africa's screaming.

  See the children's futures stolen

  While their bellies are all swollen.

  They are brought down to their knees

  By poverty and grim disease,

  And there is nowhere to flee.

  Listen - to the land as it lies weeping,

  She's alone -- Africa's screaming.

  When will she leave her past behind,

  End the hate and genocide?

  All the tribes that stand divided

  Have common ground if they decided

  To stand together and just find it.

  Listen - hope is ever gleaming,

  She is waiting - End the screaming

  **********

  Alaska

  (for Chris)

  She's a rare and wild beauty

  That entraps a young man's soul

  With her pale, pure swollen bosom

  And her heart of solid gold.

  She's a temptress, she'll seduce him

  And she'll never let him go,

  For his heart will long forever

  For her flowing fields of snow,

  For her rugged peaks and valleys,

  Summer wilderness of green,

  For her sunlit sky of glory

  Where God's hand can still be seen.

  Though she's harsh and sometimes brutal,

  He will only see her best

  And he'll love her like no other

  'Til he's finally laid to rest.

  Then he'll sleep a peaceful slumber

  Gently folded to her breast,

  For he lived and died Alaskan,

  That fair land so richly blessed.

  **********

  American Dream

  So here's to pipe dreams and hopes without cause,

  Love everlasting that's always on pause,

  For there is no truth, no honor, no peace,

  No real understanding, no trust or belief.

  We eat without tasting, while others have none,

  We drink without thirst, we laugh with no fun.

  We sing with no music, we speak with no thought,

  And surrender ourselves for what we are taught.

  **********

  Beauty

  Her beauty is to be desired

  Above all other things,

  But she'll take your heart, she'll take your soul,

  She'll take your breath away.

  She'll take your hopes, she'll take your dreams,

  Your very last thin dime.

  She'll strip you clean, then tell the world

  You're just a waste of time.

  **********

  D.B.L.C.

  You were never a true lover,

  Though you left me with the blame,

  And I'm desperate and lonely,

  How I wish you felt the same.

  How I wish your heart was breaking

  And a fine mist burned your eyes,

  Late at night as I lay thinking,

  It would be like paradise.

  Just to know you are suffering,

  Just to know that you're in pain,

  Just to know that you are human,

  Then my heart could beat again.

  **********

  Do You Remember

  Do you remember

  The days now dead and gone?

  The music swelled around us

  And the band played on.

  All of time was nothing,

  For forever beckoned sweet

  And love was reckless

  As we bowed at Ero's feet.

  Do you remember

  When I thought you were the one?

  I trusted you to be there

  Constant as the moon and sun.

  Foolish was and always will be,

  Foolish gives and ne'er receives.

  Foolish always trusts a lover;

  Foolish always will believe.

  Foolish cares and foolish answers

  Every call and every need.

  Foolish always plays the jester;

  Foolish dies and foolish bleeds.

  Do you remember?

  **********

  From Underneath

  The world looks different from underneath

  When there isn't a penny to buy some bread

  And there is no heat, so you stay in bed

  Reading stories to hungry children

  Of the feasts they cannot have.

  The world looks different from underneath

  When you reap the sour and the only sweet

  Is grudgingly given without dignity,

  And the only light in an old man's eyes

  Are the tears of want that he meekly cries.

  The world looks different from underneath

  When you're sick and alone, with no relief

  And there is no care, for you're turned away

  To a silent world to wait and pray

  For release in death and a hollow grave.

  The world is different from underneath

  When you struggle for hope midst disbelief

  And wallow in pain and rage and grief.

  There is no escape, there are no dreams,

  Just the reality of poverty.

  **********

  Fuck Love

  See it twist and fall apart,

  Broken dreams and
broken heart.

  Mental pictures passing by,

  Smells a lot like suicide.

  Spit it out and suck it in,

  Tastes just like a second sin.

  Hold your breath and close your eyes,

  Falling, falling hypnotized.

  Pick up pieces one by one,

  Build a wall and when you're done

  In they come with siege machines,

  Wooden ladders, kerosene.

  Tear it down and fall apart,

  Just another wasted start.

  Fascinated by the lies,

  Falling, falling hypnotized.

  Drink the water, drink the wine,

  Eat the scars they leave behind.

  Touch the fire, feel the pain,

  Memories of faithless strain.

  But the solace of the tune

  Gets entangled with the moon,

  Bitten, helpless, paralyzed

  Falling, falling, hypnotized.

  Hide the heart, restrain the mind,

  Does no good for love's unkind.

  Insidious, it oozes in

  Between the cracks beneath the skin

  Callously it bends the will,

  Licks the wounds that never heal.

  Rent and hollowed, sacrificed,

  Falling, falling hypnotized.

  **********

  Growing Up

  When I was a child, I dreamed like a child,

  Of sunshine and laughter and roses,

  Of life in starry-eyed poses,

  Of love with its passion and flame.

  Back then it was only a game,

  Only a dream.

  But the years go along

  To adulthood and on

  And slowly the dreams fade away.

  One by one they go day by day,

  'Til there's nothing to hold back the pain;

  Nothing to relight the flame ---

  Just ashes ---

  Just ashes and waste.

  **********

  In The Face of the Stars

  Like horses that race with the wind in their tails

  'Cross purple horizons, along dusty trails,

  They bind us to dreams and they cast on us spells

  'Til somehow they make us feel clean.

  Like heroes who fight when their last hope is gone,

  They dazzle the heavens and outshine the sun,

  They make us think maybe the battle is won

  And valleys are once again green.

  Like the eagles that fly, like the wind in the trees,

  We float above earth, feeling restless and free,

  Not knowing the answers, not caring to see

  The ugliness growing below.

  We're children that run in the face of the stars,

  Removing our shackles and hiding our scars.

  Like the dim moon that trickles it's light from afar,

  Someday we may learn how to glow.

  **********

  Liar

  Don't know what to say,

  You take my breath away.

  Is there any point in me believing?

  May be paradise

  Looking in my eyes,

  But you've never hesitated in the leaving.

  Give it one more day,

  But it always ends the same.

  Can't be any reason now for staying.

  Tell me every lie,

  it makes me want to die

  When I can't believe a single word you're saying.

  **********

  Lies

  "I want to love you forever;

  Swear you'll leave me never.

  You're all I need, my dream come true,

  And I have found my world in you!"

  Isn't it funny how quick you discover

  All of the lies you've been told by your lover?

  **********

  Marlowe

  In a blinding burst of passion

  In the steaming summer heat,

  As the red light slowly flashes

  We can feel our bodies meet.

  Our hearts, as they are pounding,

  Keeps rhythm with the beat

  Of the record slowly turning

  And the noises from the street.

  Our fevered flesh is burning

  Rubbing 'cross the wrinkled sheets

  That smell of sweat and cigarettes.

  The bedsprings gently creak,

  Keeping time with the headboard

  As it bangs against the wall

  And the throaty groans and whispers

  While our bodies rise and fall.

  There's the trembling touch of fingertips,

  Our lip both moist and sweet;

  The moment's come and then it's gone,

  Satisfaction is complete.

  **********

  Mrs. Turlaine's Lament

  "If only things were different,"

  Heard the word so many times.

  It isn't what we're saying

  But the thoughts we leave behind.

  We dare not speak about it,

  For one word would make it real,

  Betray the frigid passion

  That was long since lost or killed.

  Though in hollowness it echoes,

  It can never be forgot,

  The vows can't be forsaken

  And forgiveness can't be bought.

  **********

  My Philosophy

  "What is the point of life," I said,

  "We only live until we're dead,

  And spend our time in stress and strain

  To wind up in a grassy plain.

  I wonder what it's about,

  Consuming time with fear and doubt.

  It seems there's nothing much to life

  But learning how to waste your time.

  He who is and does and has

  Gains nothing but a plot of grass;

  His final plot of earth's as small

  As he who never did at all."

  And so, I sat to think things out,

  So I would know what life's about.

  I thought and thought and strained my brain,

  Until at last the answer came.

  It's not at all like songs we sing;

  Life's not about a fucking thing.

  **********

  My Secret Place

  Along the river's quiet scene,

  With summer grasses growing green,

  I lay me down to peaceful rest

  Upon the ground that Nature blessed.

  I gaze up to the heavens, blue,

  Between the branches, strong and true.

  Leaves shimmer in the sultry breeze,

  As I lie silent 'neath the trees,

  Listening to the river's song

  As it goes rolling, endless on,

  To mingle with the sparrow's call

  Of peace and goodwill to us all.

  I can feel the damp, sun-warmed earth

  Beneath me, as it's giving birth

  To shoots of green with blossomed lace,

  In my own secret, private place.

  I think of this and breathe a sigh;

  I know my place will never die.

  It lies within a memory;

  A secret place for only me.

  **********

  Oh, Sad and Lonely Days

  Oh, sad and lonely days

  O'er spent in melancholy,

  Wish I now had seen your glory.

  Spent less time in seeing sorrows,

  Waiting for the grand tomorrows

  That never seemed to come.

  **********

  Poison Me

  Poison me; tell me the venom in your prayer.

  Let the radio and TV blare

  'Til I can't think and I don't care.

  Poison me; fill me with your drugs and wine.

  Let me feel like I'm divine,

  Then shred my soul and lose my mind.

  Poison me; Lord don'
t ever let me dare

  To feel an ounce of passion, swear.

  Just take my love and strip it bare.

  Poison me; I can't feel it anymore.

  Poison me; keep me down here on the floor,

  Breathing lies with no excuse,

  Destroying everything that's loose.

  Carry on, break every truce.

  Poison me; I feel the life that's flowing out.

  I've lost all reasoning and doubt;

  Just give me wings; let me cry out

  And poison me.

  **********

  Runaway

  You give yourself to anyone who asks

  And smile when they say you're hot.

  You try to pretend that you're loved,

  But you know that you're not.

  What do you have to have in this world

  To deserve a few good feelings?

  Nothing is given away anymore,

  So be quiet and stare at the ceiling.

  Do you find the answers anywhere

  When you're screaming out the questions?

  In the middle of the darkest night

  Does the misery ever lessen?

  You give yourself to anyone who smiles.

  I watch you go, piece by piece,

  In the arms of each new lover

  But you try to hide your grief.

  What would it take to save you tonight;

  To cast away all of the stones?

  What would it take just to hold you together

  When you're already peeled to the bones?

  Do you find the answers anywhere

  When you're screaming out the questions?

  Where are the dreams; where are the hopes;

  Where's the love that could bring you redeeming?

  **********

  Secrets

  From the time of our conception

  To the hour of our defeat,

  We have spent a lifetime hoarding